Finally... For you.

I drown in your ocean,
Till I get absorbed into you,
I've run till I can no more.
I don't know what I'm chasing,
I don't know if I want to catch it.

I wonder if I'm running from you,
What would happen if you caught me?
I look at you through a kaleidoscope,
Wondering if I should give us a chance
Wondering if I'd regret it 20 years later.
Right now, everything screams not to.
But, I can't help but think of the possibility.

Should I even wonder about the future?
People tell me to live in the now, but I'm glass.
I break easily and I have too many cracks.
I'm a hunter and gatherer of happiness and light,
Little laughs and giggles in my shiny, glowing basket.

One day I'll stop. Be at peace with myself.
Comfortable in the alone-ness of it all.
Till then, I think of you, haunting me.
I hug you close, because thoughts of you
Are who I am right now, in this moment.

So conflicted, so hard to write about,
You've invaded my head and I can't get you out.
Word and keyboards won't let me escape,
I don't know if the curse will end, if I want it to.
So, I guess I’ll sit here and ask “What to do?”