You

You are a hateful thing,
Someone that can crush me,
Cripple me with loss to a point
Where I can't breathe, function, live.

You hound me with guilt, misery,
You never wipe the tears I shed,
You're a sadistic bastard.
You're the best curse I know.

Your darkness envelops me,
Suffocates me, destroys my hope.
You are so permanent, terrifying.
You're a place where there's no escape.

I've tried to fight you, beat you,
Tried to run and hide from you,
Tried to wish you away,
Every mail van, every 11:11.

Today, I know I carry you with me,
You are my parasite, eating at my emptiness.
You remind me that I'm incomplete,
You're my life-mate, you're death.

Chipaffair

The feel of the rough, thin slice.

The grease of the oil.

The rolling of the salt grains.

The smell of the fried goodness.

The crunch of the chip.

I don’t remember when we first met.

You overwhelm me every time,

Flavour sticking on my tongue,

The soft burn on my palette,

The starchy taste of potato.

Our love for each other has been epic,

You’ve been there whenever I need you,

But sometimes, when I can’t have you too.

Secrecy was never our strength,

People always know when we meet.

Crunch, munch, crunch, munch,

The sounds of our love attract others

They want to share our magic,

Some want you for themselves.

But I know you love no other like me.

Over you

I can't say when, or how

I woke up one dark night

Levitating. Magical. Sparkling.

It was over. You were gone.

You’re not in my thoughts,

It takes effort to remember.

What we had, what we were,

I don’t regret, but I do forget.

The discovery of being born again

The road map is different,

New. The feeling of smiling,

This second chance, a do-over.

Getting over you was not hard,

It was not impossible as I'd thought.

It was easy to erase that life.

I'm living again, a clean sheet.

I simply went to bed dead,

I woke up alive, lighter.

I don’t ever want to go back.

That part of me doesn’t exist now.

Happy

I smiled, my dimples deepening,

My eyes crinkled and I laughed.

Freedom is something so few experience.

I danced, I sang, I drank.

The Vengaboys are a celebration.

It took me back to the old days,

I finally see no difference.

I was happy then, I’m happy now.

It’s been so long that it feels strange,

This relief, this joy and just being content.

Waking up everyday is amazing

I have a reason to enjoy crappy days.

Coming out of this trap is fantastic

It makes me want to jump and fly,

Not that I haven’t already.

It just doesn’t seem to want to end!

I’m happy and I know it!

Crush

Instant attraction.
A look. A spark.
A smile.
A twinkle in the eye.
A sound. A voice.
A word.
A certain colour.
A smell. A flavour.
A touch.

A crush.

Human

I could start with something famous,

Something as popular, as well put as

“I wandered lonely as a cloud”

But, then, that is not my line.

I'm neither lonely, nor a cloud.

Only human.

 

Living, breathing, feeling.

The crinkles around my eyes

Betray my age, but also say

I’m a happy girl, I laugh.

There is a dimple in my cheek.

I’m only human.

 

My phone tinkles, I smile and reach.

It is the sweetest sound,

A connection that says I’m not alone,

I laugh at my disappointment,

It was only the service provider.

It too, only human.

 

This whole world is only human,

I revel in that connection.

I love my people.

Their faces, their voices,

The sound of my voice.

It’s all only human