Shiny, Glittering People

Happiness breezes by,
Like the wind on a hot summer's day.
Warm skin tingles as my hair flutters.
The sight of purple butterflies,
Cuddling with kittens in a rainy day.

A random thought, a memory
Is all it takes in a dreary day.
Everything brightens, sparkles,
Rainbows glow against my white desk,
Giggles are stifled and grins are controlled.

That feeling of childlike bliss,
The laughter of hopeful ecstasy.
Spiced raw mangoes and ice golas,
A sugar rush which has no intention of letting up.
The hot smell of apple and cinnamon.

The sheer excitement of jumping on a trampoline,
Long treks to watch sunsets over mountain tops,
The rush of cars honking, the chatter of people,
That feeling of home listening to the tinkle of trinkets,
That giddy, topsy-turvy, bouncy glee that is you!

Love

It once rained heavy on my heart,

A storm, drowning my sorrow,

Jolting me with lightning,

Shocking me with thunder.

You rode your horse across the field,

Searching for the one sapling that survived.

For hope to be restored, for the sun to shine.

Guided by the moon, you found me.

I was lost.

Painted gray, opaque across the sky,

You held me captive with your unforgiving stare.

I cannot ignore you for you are who I breathe

A slight sting with every breath,

Exhaling doesn’t seem like an option.

Forced, I watch you crumble,

Crushed by the giant light,

Torn by the wind.

I mourned you.

It was when you held me as I wept,

Empathizing in a feeling you could not feel.

You shook me, swayed me, but never betrayed me.

You delivered on the pain once promised,

The nails blue, you stayed true.

I loved to hate you and I hate to love you,

Wishes never made, never fulfilled.

We held hands, we made a splash

It was too good, to be untrue.

Forever is not a long time.

Our movement defined.

The Ghost Who Never Was

An ethereal glow followed where she had been,
Lighting the dark people she touched.
A residual shimmer.
She looked upon the crowd, so disconnected,
But pulled.
Walking in and out of life,
Never fully comprehending her necessity.

Reaching into the void, she lived, gathering the lost.
Translucent to those who didn’t believe.
Barely existing without the thread
Woven by those chosen few, holding her.
Living with her, feeling her, loving her.
Those lucky souls who had faith and unconditional belief.
She was their life force, their understanding of the world.
Their hearts broken, they held on to her, possessive.
Letting go would be certain death.
The end of the magic.

Orange

I sat on the ledge, legs dangling and stared.

I stared at the open canvas that was her face.

I watched her eyes glitter in the sunlight,

Rippling emotion, changing the surface.

A disturbance in the calm, yet so natural.

With a sweeping motion, it was gone.

Her eyes crinkled at the orange, signaling the end.

Clenched, they looked at nothing, felt everything.

They stayed still, held together with the bond of being human.

The reddish hues glittered on the canvas, revealing little.

I watched as she smiled and the sun finally began to set.

I watched as she saw the stars starting to sparkle, winking.

I laughed with her uncontrollably.

Bathed in orange.

Finally... For you.

I drown in your ocean,
Till I get absorbed into you,
I've run till I can no more.
I don't know what I'm chasing,
I don't know if I want to catch it.

I wonder if I'm running from you,
What would happen if you caught me?
I look at you through a kaleidoscope,
Wondering if I should give us a chance
Wondering if I'd regret it 20 years later.
Right now, everything screams not to.
But, I can't help but think of the possibility.

Should I even wonder about the future?
People tell me to live in the now, but I'm glass.
I break easily and I have too many cracks.
I'm a hunter and gatherer of happiness and light,
Little laughs and giggles in my shiny, glowing basket.

One day I'll stop. Be at peace with myself.
Comfortable in the alone-ness of it all.
Till then, I think of you, haunting me.
I hug you close, because thoughts of you
Are who I am right now, in this moment.

So conflicted, so hard to write about,
You've invaded my head and I can't get you out.
Word and keyboards won't let me escape,
I don't know if the curse will end, if I want it to.
So, I guess I’ll sit here and ask “What to do?”

To be loyal

It's hard to comprehend,
Almost difficult to understand.
This grey scale is utter rubbish.
Two colours matter. Black and white.
This or that.

Loyalty, fealty, friendship, fidelity.
Just words or do they mean something?
Levels of betrayal are levels of hurt,
The baseline the same, the blood the same.
A or B.

It's easier in grey no? Non-commital.
Excuses are readily available, believable.
Can you really convince yourself?
That's it's alright, that you can forget???
Right or wrong?

Maybe it is easier to let go.
Move on as they say, be lighter, grudgeless.
What about the scars then? Those wounds?
The ones you can't cover up, the ones that won't stop bleeding?
What then friend?

Sugar rush!

I bounce, dance and twirl,
Skip along the purple cement road,
Lost in every celestial swirl,
More of you I try to hoard.

Glinting joy, you crystalline being,
The taste of you is so sublime,
My addiction to you never leaving,
I wish that you could only be mine.

Shapes, sizes and in multi-colour,
You warp me up in heavenly bliss!
Smelling sweeter than any flower,
I'd run through fields for your sweet kiss.

My love, can you even understand
Your power, your saccharine strength?
With trembling fingers, I grasp your hand,
Fly me across this dimension's length!

Absorb me, make me one with you!
With the feel of you, I'm obsessed!
Everything I say is absolutely true,
I want you, nothing more, nothing less.

The person I used to know.

We can blame it on the distance,
We can say that we lost touch.
Life caught up with us, we're busy
Too busy to look each other up.

I wonder what you look like now,
If your voice is deeper, your smile bigger.
If you've grown taller, if you wear heels.
Do you still like the colour red?

Do you still love telling stories?
Have you painted anything new?
Do you still like Swat Kats?
Wasn't Razor your favourite?

Why don't we talk anymore?
You're my friend on Facebook,
But I haven't said anything.
Only wished you on your birthday.

Would you want to meet?
Do you know what's up with me?
Can we call ourselves friends now?
Or are you that person I used to know?

I want to find our friendship again,
See who you've become.
I wonder if you're in the same place,
If you still visit Lalbagh on weekends.

Maybe, one day I'll run into you.
We'll say hello and smile.
Will we recognise each other?
Will we wish for what was?